


But I Know Where I Want To Go

by PrickleBrickleCitrus



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst to Fluff, Blowjobs, Emotions, Gavin's an idiot but that's okay, M/M, Probably Non-Canon compliant, RK900 has feelings, Switching Roles, The Android Glows, face fucking, no beta we die like men, sex with feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-23 14:19:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16160630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrickleBrickleCitrus/pseuds/PrickleBrickleCitrus
Summary: “Are you coming home with me then?”It’s Gavin’s version of an olive branch, but it feels more like a popsicle stick with construction paper leaves. He’s never felt more foolish.“Do you want me to?”





	But I Know Where I Want To Go

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pseudoanalytics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pseudoanalytics/gifts).



“Does it bother you?”

They’re sitting in Gavin’s car parked just across the street from a crime scene. Connor and Lieutenant Anderson are mulling about comparing information and Noah is watching them with detached interest. Gavin can see the reflection of his LED in the window - yellow. Gavin sighs and quickly chews the remnants of a sausage roll before swallowing.

It’s starting to rain and that irritates him. More so than Noah’s cryptic question.

“Does what bother me?”

Noah’s eyes continue to track the two in the parking lot and Gavin can see the vague hints of a pinched expression in his face mirrored in the glass.

“That Connor and I are… Well, that we are essentially the same model. Our appearances are practically the same, give or take a few small details. We are very similar in many ways, as I was intended to be his replacement.”

Gavin snorts, rolling up the wrapper from his sandwich and throwing it in the back seat. He grabs the now cold coffee from the cup holder and takes a sip.

“Are you serious?”

Noah turns to face him and his LED is spinning, still yellow. His eyebrows pinch inwards more, lips turned in a slight frown.

“I’m always serious, Gavin.” He sounds exasperated that Gavin would even ask.

Gavin just rolls his eyes.

“You and Connor are the furthest fucking thing from each other, trust me.”

Noah watches Gavin take another sip of his coffee before the detective gets out, slamming the door behind him. He doesn’t think much of it when Noah lingers briefly in the car and flips the hood of his sweatshirt up over his hair.

He’d much rather deal with a dead body than the existential crisis of his android partner.

\-----------

The rain only gets heavier, and by the time they finish up at the scene Gavin is soaked from head to toe. He mashes his shivering fingers against the dashboard of the car when he and Noah get in, setting the heat as high as it can go. It feels good but barely works against the damp sweater and jeans clinging to his skin.

Noah, of course, is completely unfazed by the weather even though he’s just as wet.

Gavin grumbles to himself, shifts the car into drive and takes off down the street. At the first light they hit he peers over in the dark at Noah and gives him a once over. The android hasn’t said a word in the past ten minutes and his LED is still flickering between yellow and blue. He has one arm resting neatly in his lap, but the other he has propped against the bottom edge of the window with his fingers absently rubbing against his bottom lip.

The light turns green and Gavin taps the gas.

“You good?”

Noah’s fingers freeze as he turns his head to face Gavin. He looks surprised. Gavin wonders why.

“I’m fine.” He pauses, turns his eyes back towards the weather outside. “Just thinking.”

Another red light. Gavin picks at the skin around one of his fingers.

“About?”

That look again, the surprise on Noah’s face, like he has no idea why Gavin’s even talking to him. For some reason it makes Gavin bristle just a little.

“Nothing important, case related things.”

“Bullshit. You would have been talking my ear off if that was true.”

Gavin curses under his breath when he pulls at the skin too hard. It starts to bleed and he brings the finger up to his mouth. Noah is watching him instead of the weather, but he’s hesitant. The fingers on Noah's left hand twitch in his lap.

Gavin sighs around his own finger in his mouth, his shoulders rising and falling with it.

“I know I’m not good with this shit, but whatever this is -” His other hand flails around in Noah’s general direction “- isn’t normal, even for your abnormal plastic ass.”

Noah looks away. The yellow of his LED lights up his corner of the car. They’re pulling in to the parking lot of Gavin’s apartment complex when Noah finally responds.

“How do you know what’s normal for me? It isn’t like you ever ask.”

Gavin is floored. Is this a fight? Is Noah actually fighting with him? How do you even fight with a fucking android? The car is parked and they’re just sitting there in the dark and the rain. Gavin’s too afraid to get out of the car or even speak. He’s not sure he’s ever had a fight before in a relationship but he knows himself - he’ll fight back if he has to.

“You’re my partner, dipshit. Of course I know what’s normal for you.”

Noah says nothing. He doesn’t look at Gavin as he slowly exits the car and doesn’t wait for him as he begins walking towards Gavin’s building. Gavin follows soon after but doesn’t bother to catch up to the android. His mind wanders briefly, thinking about his past relationships and what those were like. The thought occurs to him that this is the longest one he’s had yet, and his stomach sinks at the thought.

Perhaps this was inevitable. Gavin isn’t sure if this was even a relationship to begin with; angry, rough sex doesn’t make a solid relationship. He recalls all his other partners and suddenly sees the pattern. A few months of sex, no strings attached, and then they always walk away. No commitments.

Noah might be an android, but he’s smarter and better than all of Gavin’s other partners. It only makes sense that he’d leave too. Why wouldn’t he?

Gavin’s fighting back the lump in his throat as he climbs the stairs to his floor. Noah is waiting for him by the door when he gets there, and he finds that strange.

“You forget your spare or something?”

Noah still won’t look at him and that sinking feeling only gets worse. The lump in his throat returns. Gavin doesn’t fight it this time. He knows how this goes.

“I don’t think I’ll be staying tonight.”

_And there it is._

When Gavin enters the apartment, Noah follows him, but it doesn’t feel as though he wants to. Gavin pockets his keys and turns to Noah, pressing the tip of his tongue against his teeth. He hates this kind of emotional shit but he refuses to be lead along like an idiot. If this is it, he’s not backing out with his tail between his legs.

“Can you stop being a fucking asshole and tell me what the hell I did?”

Noah’s left hand twitches just barely as his LED flashes from yellow to red for a brief second.

“I could easily ask the same of you.”

Gavin sets his jaw and laughs. There’s no humor in it. Noah has that killer’s look in his eyes, like he’s ready to wrap his hands around Gavin’s throat. It isn’t the first time Gavin’s seen it, but it might be the last. He’ll go down with guns blazing if he has to.

“Takes one to know one, you fucking plastic prick.”

Noah visibly recoils, lips turned up in a near snarl. Gavin’s going to set him off, he can tell. It occurs to him that maybe he went too hard too fast, but why give up now? The gates are open and there’s no stopping him.

“Asking me cryptic shit at a crime scene like I’m supposed to know what the hell you’re thinking. You wanna have your mind read?”

Gavin lifts his hand into Noah’s face, his middle finger proud and strong only inch away.

“Why don’t you go find Connor, then? I’m sure he’ll be happy to listen to you whine about all your little plastic problems.”

Gavin turns and heads in to the kitchen, flicking on the light before opening the fridge and pulling out a beer. He uncaps it with more force than necessary as he leans against the counter. He sets the rim against his lips but doesn’t take a sip, too focused on Noah standing by the door. All he can see is the vague outline of him, the fluorescent bulb of the kitchen highlighting his right half. His LED spins a furious red and the look on his face makes Gavin’s heart stop.

Just for a moment Gavin feels the sharp sting of regret as a shiver runs up his spine. Too far, he thinks, but fuck if he he’s too stubborn to apologize. In those few seconds, Noah meets his gaze and Gavin doesn’t see an android, he sees a damaged and broken human being. His hand trembles where it holds the bottle to his lips and he feels stuck, feels fear rise like bile up his throat.

The rest of the night is a blur, except for the resounding slam of his apartment door and the vomit he spews in to his kitchen sink.

\------------------

Neither of them say anything about the night before at work the next day. Noah speaks to him about suspects and evidence as if Gavin didn’t insult his entire existence less than twenty-four hours ago. It’s different though, and maybe no one else can see it but Gavin can feel it.

No hands on his shoulder, no sly jokes or off-remarks about Gavin’s abilities to read a crime scene. It’s all professionalism and work ethic, but it just feels wrong. He thought he’d be okay with this, thought that being only partners in work would be better for them instead of worrying that someone will find out about what they do elsewhere.

Instead, he gets in his car at the end of the day and grips the steering wheel like it’s the only thing keeping him afloat. He looks at the passenger’s seat, empty and cold and it hurts.

Why the fuck does it hurt?

\--------------------------

Another week goes by. The weather changes from rain to snow by Thursday evening and Gavin fucking hates it. He’s certain he hasn’t slept more than two or three hours every night this week and he’s on edge about practically everything. He tries valiantly to forget the constricting feeling in his chest each time he drives home alone but fails.

At least the weather brings less crime, but for once Gavin is hoping that someone dies. Dead bodies always have a way of making you forget about everything else.

He chooses to leave early that day and says goodbye to no-one, not even Tina as he makes his way to the parking garage. It's freezing, but it gives him time to have a cigarette while he blasts the heat in his car and catches up with relevant news on his phone. They're small and pointless distractions, but they ease the hurt just a little.

He's caught up in a particularly shitty article about the location of dog parks around the city when the passengers side door wrenches open. Gavin jumps, nearly dropping the cigarette in his lap and curses when Noah slides gracefully in to the seat.

He doesn't say a word and neither does Gavin, his throat straining with that oppressive speechlessness in the wake of words that never should have been said. For the first time, Gavin’s sure he knows how Noah feels. It doesn’t reassure him.

He takes a long drag from his cigarette, the smoke filtering out through the rolled-down window.

“I’m going home,” he says, as though it isn’t obvious.

The air from the vents fills the silence.

“I know.”

A stray filament of smoke drifts along the windshield.

“So what do you want?”

Noah looks lost and confused. Frustrated. He’s playing with the fingers on his left hand, an endearingly human gesture. His eyes do not meet Gavin’s.

“I have nowhere else to go.”

Gavin’s heart beats just a little bit faster. He flicks the cigarette butt out the window.

“Where have you been?”

Noah turns his face downwards and stares into his lap. He doesn’t answer, but Gavin chooses not to press the issue.

“Are you coming home with me then?”

It’s Gavin’s version of an olive branch, but it feels more like a popsicle stick with construction paper leaves. He’s never felt more foolish.

“Do you want me to?”

Gavin doesn’t answer this time, just stares at the profile of Noah’s face in the fading evening sunlight. Yes, he wants to say, I think I want that, but the words get stuck somewhere from his brain to his mouth and all he can do is clear his throat. It’s all he’s wanted for a whole week, but now that he has it his whole body screams at him to run away, get out while he still can. The dichotomy of those feelings aggravates him, as does is inability to reconcile them.

Not one more word is uttered between them until they are behind the closed doors of Gavin’s apartment. He’s got the mouth of a beer bottle pressed to his lips when he turns to face Noah. The android is standing by the door like he was a week ago, staring out into the emptiness of Gavin’s living room. A wave of nausea hits him like a slap in the face. He sips the beer to steady himself.

It passes, thankfully, as Noah treads lightly across the living room and leans against the wall by the singular window. Gavin wants to follow him, he wants to slide his hand along the back of Noah's neck and run his fingers through the android’s hair. Fear keeps him stuck in place, his feet and body glued to the linoleum tile of the kitchen floor at the entryway.

Noah won't look at him anyway, he hasn't the whole evening. His eyes are focused elsewhere, casually observing something unimportant down below but Gavin can tell that's not what he's thinking about. Yellow yellow blue yellow blue. Noah's whole body is rigid, his body language clear in its meaning. Lines of frustration wind their way around his eyes and mouth and Gavin is struck with the sudden urge to smooth them away.

The harsh orange glow of the streetlights filter through the window to carve soft curves along Noah's face and torso. He's striking like this, Gavin thinks, his sharp cheekbones and cold, gray eyes so much gentler than they ought to be. He shouldn't look so beautiful right now.

That thought makes Gavin panic. _Beautiful._ When's the last time he called a partner beautiful? When he was sixteen probably, and that was well over twenty years ago. Well before he became the selfish shit bag he is right now. Their conversation from the car echoes throughout his head.

_Are you coming home with me then?_

_Do you want me to?_

Gavin is a private person by nature. He doesn't like his life on display the way some others do. He likes to think it's why he has so much trouble sharing himself with others, but it's a clever lie he's told himself for years. Gavin's fucking _afraid_ , terrified because he hates the vulnerability of letting someone in that close. He hates that he hates it, because the past week has taught him how much he wants that. It's taught him how much he wants Noah to be that person and the thought makes him dizzy.

Gavin swallows the last of his beer along with his pride and forces his feet to carry him forward. He mirrors Noah's stance on the other side of the window but he doesn't look outside. He wants so badly to look away but he fights the urge and keeps his gaze on Noah. 

_Sink or swim, Gavin._

“I'm sorry.”

The words come out weak and strained, swallowed behind layers of emotion. Gavin crosses his arms and forces himself to continue.

“I'm sorry for what I said. For pushing you like that.”

Noah turns to face him then and Gavin feels his knees go weak. Somehow, the words come a little easier.

“I don't - I have no fucking clue what I'm even doing here. I've never had… this. Any of this.” Gavin swallows, adds as an afterthought, “No one's ever stuck around long enough.”

“You don’t exactly make it easy,” Noah murmurs. It sounds almost tender.

Gavin breathes out through his nose and smirks. “Yeah, I know.”

“Neither do I,” Noah adds. It’s the softest Gavin’s ever heard him speak.

Gavin might be shit with emotions, but he’s had his whole life to deal with them, no matter how inconvenient. Noah’s had nothing. Everything he knows about them and everything he’s learned has been from Gavin. That realization hits Gavin in the gut like a sucker punch. He can’t imagine what that’s like, being thrown out into the world and learning about it from a train wreck of a human being. It makes heat prickle along the nape of his neck in shame.

“I get it,” Gavin says. “If you don’t want to stay. I can’t be mad at you for that.”

Noah shakes his head lightly, eyebrows pinched together.

“I thought about it.”

He pauses to look down at his hands, fiddling with the fingers of his left hand. 

“Lately, I’ve felt… wrong. As though I’m not meant to be here. Like I’m not meant to exist. Everything is so overwhelming. Most days I don’t know what it is I’m feeling, I can never find the right word for it.”

Noah lifts his head enough to turn his eyes back up to Gavin. The wayward expression on his face is so incongruous with what Gavin normally sees. He remembers that broken look from a week ago, the uncertainty in his words and actions. It makes Gavin’s chest tighten uncomfortably.

“I just. I want to know where I belong. Who I am. I want to know if I matter to you, Gavin.”

Gavin’s moving before he really registers that he is, closing the distance between them and reaching out to pull Noah toward him. He feels the itch in his fingers subside as he traces them along the back of Noah’s neck and up through the short-hairs there. His other hand slides along the palm of Noah’s left as he presses the pads of his fingers softly into his synthetic flesh. Their foreheads knock together gently, a warm exhale of breath ghosting over Gavin’s lips as Noah relaxes in to him.

It’s the most intimate Gavin’s ever been and it scares him. It’s vulnerable and open but the need to comfort outweighs the hurt in his chest. Maybe a year ago he despised Noah with every ounce of hate in his body, but now it seems natural to have him here. To have him close, to share each other’s space and bodies. To want to wake up in the morning and see someone else in the bed, and know that they’ll be there the next day too. The thought of such commitment terrifies him as much as it comforts him. Gavin wants it too much to let it go.

He tips his chin upwards and brushes his lips just barely against Noah’s. The android responds and leans in to him as he rests a hand at the crest of Gavin’s hip. It’s not quite a kiss but the energy and all the emotion is there, flaring between them like the lick of a flame. Gavin wants so much to push him back against the wall, open Noah’s lips with his tongue and taste every inch of him. He shivers at the thought, lets his fingers slip between Noah’s and squeezes, wishing he can send his thoughts through his palms.

“Gavin?”

Gavin looks into his eyes, gray and soft and full of enough emotion to drown in. How in the hell did he ever think he didn’t want this?

“Do I matter?”

Gavin kisses him in response, presses the length of his tongue between Noah’s lips as he tries to tell him without words what he wants to say. He pulls Noah’s face as close to him as he can, pushes their bodies flush as he tastes every corner of the android’s mouth. He lets his eyes flutter closed and moans softly, throwing as much passion as he can into the smallest of gestures. Noah practically melts against him, presses his fingers into the flesh of Gavin’s side like he’s holding on for dear life.

It isn’t rough, not like all the kisses they’ve shared before. Noah shudders, slides his tongue back against Gavin’s with such force that it makes him dizzy. He’s begging for forgiveness, praying that Noah will have enough mercy to keep him and never push him away. He wants to stay, _please just let me stay with you._

By the grace of whatever gods exist, Noah keeps him, pulls him up against the wall and impossibly close. They don’t need words anymore, their intentions laid clear with tongues and fingers. Their hands meet at each side of their bodies, Noah’s nails digging in to the skin of Gavin’s palms like he’s trying to leave a message, _I want you to stay please don’t leave me._

Somehow they become each others’ anchors, their hands crashing along the planes of their bodies in trembling waves of desire. Gavin gives and gives, pulls at the hem of Noah’s shirt and lets his fingers travel along every peak and valley of his skin. Together they tear the fabric off, the smooth expanse of Noah’s chest and abs exposed and highlighted in the evening light.

Gavin’s murmuring praises along the lines of Noah’s skin, his lips pressing hotly against everything as he sinks to his knees, his nose nuzzling against the warm flesh above Noah’s waistband. Gavin looks up to him and doesn’t try to hide the adoration and reverence that settles in his features. Noah’s watching him with rapt attention, something dark and desirous flooding his gaze.

Gavin undoes Noah’s belt with shaking fingers, unable to tear his gaze away from the android’s. He wants Noah to watch him, wants him to see what he feels, what he’s willing to do to keep him here. He wants Noah’s eyes on him and him alone as he pulls the android’s cock free from his pants, cups it in his hands and wraps his lips around the base near the balls. Noah gasps, his hips rocking forward at the touch, his eyes wide in fascination. Gavin licks his lips, holding his gaze upwards as best as he can as he takes one of Noah’s balls in to his mouth, lathing it wetly with his tongue.

He keeps his fingers tight around the length of Noah’s cock, stroking him in to full hardness as he continues to run his tongue along every inch of the android’s balls. Gavin watches as Noah’s head falls back against the wall, his eyes snapping shut as he bucks his hips towards Gavin’s mouth. Desire and heat coil tight in Gavin’s belly at the sight - he’s eager to please, eager to keep Noah here and show him just how much he matters.

A breathy moan falls from Noah’s lips before Gavin moves his attention to the head of his cock, pressing a kiss there as he laps up the fluid that’s started to build up. It doesn’t taste like much, but it’s still Noah all the same and Gavin revels in it. He wraps his lips around the head, the flat of his tongue rubbing against the underside. Noah cries out into the emptiness of the apartment as one of his hands comes up to grip tight in Gavin’s hair.

The pressure at the back of Gavin’s head feels amazing and it encourages him to swallow the whole length of Noah’s cock. He groans around it, taking as much of it as he can. There is no taste of flesh like all the dicks that Gavin’s sucked before, but it doesn’t matter. The feeling of Noah’s synthetic skin, the press of his hand at the back of Gavin’s skull, the way his hips rock forward and push his cock further in to Gavin’s mouth, it’s enough to drive him crazy.

He guides his lips and tongue up and down along the length, keenly watching as Noah lets out a rumbling moan deep in his throat. The android peels his head away from the wall and turns his eyes back down to Gavin, his chest rising and falling with simulated heavy breaths. He’s never looked so wrecked and Gavin’s sure he’s never been harder in his jeans. He wants every fucking inch of Noah in him, against him, touching him, anything.

Gavin brings his own hand up to clamp around Noah’s at the back of his head and pushes, makes it clear that he wants Noah to fuck his face. Noah doesn’t even think about, just wraps his other hand around Gavin’s cheek and thrusts as deep as he can in to the man’s mouth. Gavin gags around it, again and again as Noah drives his cock in and out. Gavin’s dick is so fucking hard in his jeans it hurts but he wants desperately for Noah to come down his throat and fuck his mouth in to oblivion.

After only a few moments Noah’s thighs begin to tremble and his eyes are scrunched closed. Gavin rests his palms along the synthetic muscle of Noah’s legs, feels the trembling beneath his fingers and groans at the feel. He knows Noah’s close, anticipates the sensation and finally closes his own eyes just as Noah comes. The android chokes out a strangled cry, his semen coating the back of Gavin’s throat.

Gavin swallows down all of Noah’s release, keeps his mouth around the android’s cock as his body twitches and shudders through the end of his orgasm. Gavin pulls away, looks up at Noah and sees the sudden flash of blue lines arc across his body, quick as a lightning strike and gone just as fast. Maybe he’s hallucinating, he thinks, but as Noah untangles his fingers from Gavin’s hair he can see the marble white of his chassis, bare nearly up to his elbows. The joints and seams are _fucking glowing_ and something about it makes Gavin’s head spin.

Noah eyes flit between his own hands and Gavin’s face, confusion and something else evident in his features. Neither says a word as Gavin gets to his feet, pulls two of Noah’s cool plastic fingers into his mouth and sucks, tongue darting around and between the carefully crafted joints. Gavin can tell that Noah can’t tear his eyes away, pupils blown wide and lids drawn back in wonder.

Suddenly Gavin’s dragging him away from the wall and down to the bedroom, those fingers still in his mouth, brown eyes still locked with cool gray. The light beneath Noah’s chassis flares brighter as Gavin pushes him down on the bed, looks at him like he’s the only thing that exists in this world. No time is wasted removing the rest of their clothing, thrown without a care in places they’ll worry about later.

Gavin scrambles in to his lap, pushes on Noah’s shoulders and flattens him against the bed. He grinds his hips, his cock and balls down against Noah’s, a low sound deep in his chest vibrating between them. He shoves his lips against Noah’s, kisses him with enough force that he winces. Noah’s grasping for purchase with his hands, squeezing and sinking his nails in to the softest parts of Gavin’s flesh. They share sound after sound, groans and cries released into the air between their bodies like lovers exploring each other for the first time.

Noah arches up against him and Gavin can feel the length of his dick quickly hardening again. The feeling makes him growl as he bites his way along every inch of skin and plastic he can taste. Ears, neck, jaw, shoulders, chest, nipples, the sharp line between his hip and thigh, the surprisingly soft yet firm flesh of his thighs. Noah’s synthetic skin retracts in every place he nips at it, every place he licks and tastes with his tongue.

It’s hot and desperate, needy and wanton but in a whole other way than Gavin’s used to. All the times they’ve fucked, every time Noah had him pinned to the bed or the wall and pounded in to him with all the pain and pleasure he wanted, it was never like this. Gavin lets himself be used over and over again, lets Noah have free reign in their bedroom but this time Gavin wants the wheel. The insistence in his fingertips, the weight of his body against Noah’s, the way he’s trying to memorize every inch of his body, every detail of that digital skin and every piece of carefully crafted plastic. It’s the only way Gavin can show him, the only he feels Noah will truly understand how he feels.

_Beautiful, fucking beautiful_ Gavin thinks, doesn’t realize he’s saying it aloud as he worships all the curves and angles of Noah’s body. Noah rolls up towards Gavin’s touch, meets him with urgency, basks in every supplication Gavin lays bare upon his flesh. They don’t need lights on, not when Noah’s entire being flickers beneath him like the sun. It’s like the goddamn aurora borealis landed in Gavin’s shitty little apartment in Detroit.

“Did you know about this?” Gavin asks, rough and breathy as he leans back on to his knees.

“It’s… no. I didn’t.” Noah sounds unsure, as if he’s ready for Gavin to throw him out.

Gavin traces one of the seams with his fingertip, following it all the way up the curve of Noah’s jawline. The skin peels away as he does so, leaving smooth white plastic in its wake. The glow of blue beneath is brighter and stronger wherever Gavin’s finger is, and it’s fascinating. He presses his fingertips everywhere, watching as the light responds in kind to his touch. Noah sighs as suddenly the light starts to pulse like a heartbeat, starting right where Noah’s thirium pump would be and spreading across each limb in even waves.

“Holy shit.”

Gavin leans back down with his hands splayed across Noah’s chest and nips softly at his jaw.

“I like it.”

It’s barely a whisper but it does the trick. In an instant Noah has them flipped, tucking himself neatly between Gavin’s legs and pushing his thighs apart. Gavin lets him, meets his eyes with a hungry gaze as he reaches down to grip his own cock tight in his fist. He strokes himself slowly from base to tip, covering every inch and cupping his own balls on the way back down. He bucks up into his own hand, his other clenched in the sheets as he tries to restrain himself just a little.

Noah’s got the lube in one hand ready to go already and the anticipation beats in Gavin’s stomach like a drum. He’s going to get fucked into the next dimension by this overgrown flashlight and Christ if he doesn’t want that more than anything. In seconds Noah has two fingers poised and ready by his ass and Gavin spreads his legs further, rearing back just a little for better access. Noah wastes no time in entering him, the android’s fingers spreading him open with just enough of a sting that Gavin whines. It hurts, but Gavin likes it - loves it, even.

He’s gripping the base of his cock hard as Noah fucks in to him with those smooth plastic digits, resisting the urge to jack himself quick and hard to the sensation. Gavin quickly relaxes in to it and starts to push back against the intrusion just as Noah slides one more in, stretching him even further. Gavin practically cries as he arches his back, hips rutting as much as they can to get Noah to fill him more.

It’s amazing but it’s not enough, no satisfaction until Noah plans on sliding his dick in there too. Just as he feels like he’s at the breaking point, Noah’s flipping them again and pulling Gavin into his lap. He’s straddling the android’s hips, the curve of Noah’s dick pressing eagerly against Gavin’s ass. Fuck, he wants it, pushes his body back against it and groans at how hard and warm it feels. Noah pulls him forward, reaches down between their bodies and angles himself to slide inside, penetrating him slower than Gavin anticipates.

It’s fucking torture, but the kind that makes you beg and plead for more. A string of curses rings out in the air as Gavin splits himself, the stretch and the pain scratching an itch so goddamn deep inside him. His fingers are curled like vices in the sheets around Noah’s head, the breath leaving his lungs in short, quick spurts. Just like always, Noah gives him no time to adjust as he starts pumping in and out in and out, hard and deep.

Gavin’s whole body feels like it’s burning, a liquid fire coursing inside his veins that gets hotter and hotter the faster Noah fucks him. A hand clamps tight to the back of Gavin’s skull, fingers knotting in his hair and yanking his head back to expose the long curve of his neck. Elsewhere, Noah’s other hand is clasped tight around his hip, holding him place as Gavin endures the best fucking of his life.

Noah wraps his teeth around the soft junction of muscle and flesh by his shoulder and Gavin keens. Every joint and limb feels like jelly, soft and pliable as he lets Noah use him and fuck in to him. With every thrust Gavin can see the way that blue light stutters and pulses, lighting up the room like a fireworks display.

Just for a second, Gavin thinks it’s the hottest goddamn thing he’s ever seen.

It passes as Noah turns Gavin’s head down toward him and knocks their foreheads together. The look on Noah’s face burns white hot deep in his belly. Gavin hopes that he looks just as wrecked because he certainly fucking feels it. He must, because Noah is staring at him as though he were the most beautiful piece of art he’s ever seen. It’s almost enough to push him over the edge.

He reaches down between their bodies with a shaking hand and wraps his fist around his cock, so ready to come that he feels like he could cry. Noah bats his hand away though and gives him a stern look.

“Not yet. I want to -” Noah fucking flips them again and Gavin groans when he pulls out and climbs up his body to sit at his hips.

“The fuck are you doin’?”

Gavin feels that he’s about to be edged and he doesn’t want that right now, but in that same thought Noah climbs up on his knees, poised with his ass just above Gavin’s dick. Gavin swallows, curses _very_ loud as Noah sinks himself on to Gavin. He can’t look away, his whole body shuddering and bucking up in to the android. He feels every muscle and tendon pull taut at the unexpected shift, feels ready to explode as the filthiest moan he’s ever heard escapes Noah’s mouth.

“Jesus _fucking Christ_ , Noah, _fuck_ -”

Noah is so much tighter than he ever thought and Gavin has to dig his nails into the android’s thighs to keep himself from blowing his load right then and there. Noah notices and reaches down with his fucking perfect hands and pulls just right at Gavin’s hair.

“Don’t. Just breathe, Gavin.”

He closes his eyes tight, breathes in a shuddering breath and counts. One, two, three. He does it again and again, until Noah releases his hair and shifts back on his cock. The sound that escapes him is frankly embarrassing, but Gavin could give two shits now that Noah is slowly riding him like he was born to do it.

Gavin is, for the first time in his life, _enraptured_ by what he sees. Noah is bouncing up and down on his cock at a perfect and steady pace. At the places where their bodies meet Noah’s synthetic skin is drawn away and the white shimmering plastic of his chassis is illuminated by the pulsing beat of blue light. His head is turned down against his chest, palms and fingers flat against Gavin’s stomach like he’s concentrating on dicking himself in the best way possible.

That feeling from before overwhelms him, blooms from his chest like a strong hit of nicotine. Noah is fucking _beautiful_ , he’s gorgeous and sublime in a way that Gavin could never be. Gavin doesn’t consider himself lucky at anything other than being alive, but this is like winning the lottery over and over again. Noah is all long, lean lines, precision and cold power, sharp like a knife that cuts straight to his heart. Gavin would cut the damn thing out and present it on a platter if Noah asked, and thank him the whole damn time.

Gavin reaches out to Noah’s hand, grabs it and pulls him down to let their lips crash together. Noah is still pushing back against Gavin’s length and Gavin growls, thrusting up in to him as each snap of their hips connects with a loud slap. He lets adoration seep in to his pores, lets it spill out in every broken curse that fills the air between their lips. Noah meets him in kind, sounds tumbling from his lips that Gavin’s never heard before, _yes, yes, please Gavin, please, harder_ -

The glow behind the seams of Noah’s body suddenly erupts like a flash of lightning as he comes, his thighs trembling and his whole body seizing on top of Gavin. He howls and it’s a strained and tinny sound, as though his modulator has ceased to function properly. Gavin almost chokes at the sight but keeps fucking in to him before he, too, comes, hard enough to see white at the edge of his vision.

They ride out the high together, Noah shaking and shivering in Gavin’s lap as Gavin comes down from his orgasm. Gavin turns Noah’s head in to his shoulder and slides one of his hands slow and gentle down the muscles of his back. Noah groans as his body twitches at the touch. The light beneath his chassis still responds to Gavin’s fingertips but it’s grown more subtle in light of Noah’s orgasm.

“S-s-shit,” the android stutters, reaching out to tangle his fingers in Gavin’s hair for comfort.

Gavin snorts and chuckles.

“You good?”

Noah nods but doesn’t say anything and doesn’t move as the twitching starts to subside. Gavin has half a mind to think he _can’t_ , way too satisfied with himself at the thought. There’s no urgency though - they have nowhere to be and Gavin doesn’t really give two shits about work or cases right now. He continues running his hand up and down Noah’s back, tracing along the outlines of every curve and peak until he feels the android relax against him.

Maybe the energy of the fucking calmed him down, but Gavin doesn’t feel so scared by the intimacy anymore. It’s comforting like this; the boneless calm that vibrates through every cell in his body, the weight of another person on top of you who feels the same. Gavin lets his mind go empty as his breathing slows and his heart stops racing in his chest. A voice in the back of his head tells him to get up and clean himself but he can’t be bothered, not yet.

Gavin looks around the room with half-lidded eyes and sees how dark it’s gotten. The ever-present neon signs across the street bathe the bottom half of his bed and their forms in shifting hues. He can see parts of Noah’s skin still peel back to plastic beneath his palms, that pulse of blue fading and fading as it gives way to the glow from outside his window.

It’s quiet but not strange, not this time at least. For Gavin, it all feels like _home_ for the first time in his life. He wonders if Noah thinks that, too.

Noah shifts and lifts himself up on his hands, peering down in to Gavin’s face with gentle curiosity. His features don’t carry their usual cold and chiseled harshness. Instead, they’ve been replaced by a clear sense of relaxation. It suits him.

“What?”

Noah gives him a face, the one that Gavin’s pinned as the ‘Oh, I don’t know’ look. He rolls his eyes and groans.

“I was just thinking that perhaps words would have been a much more efficient way of… expressing ourselves,” Noah murmurs, planting a small kiss on Gavin’s cheek.

Gavin grumbles low in his throat.

“So you didn’t want me to blow you?” He deadpans. It’s Noah’s turn to roll his eyes.

“Please. You know I would never pass on an opportunity to stick my cock in your mouth, Gavin.”

Noah doesn’t smirk or smile, but the intonation of his words makes Gavin laugh. Noah nips him playfully on his chin.

“Yeah, just like you couldn’t pass on an opportunity to have _my_ cock in _your_ ass, tin can.”

Gavin sucks in a breath as Noah bites him harder, kisses him rough down the length of his neck.

“Might I remind you, Detective,” he says, words like silk against Gavin’s skin, “that I am not constrained by a refractory period like you are.”

It’s a hollow threat, though Gavin isn’t entirely averse to being fucked again so soon. He feels his cock twitch against his thigh at the thought, but he’s willing to hold off for a little longer. Something else is on his mind.

“Hey, sit up for a second?” Gavin murmurs, pushing Noah up and away from him so the android is on his knees. Gavin sits himself up on his elbows, looks up under his lashes at Noah as he presses his tongue against his teeth.

“Can you, uh. Can you control all that light shit or was it…. You know.” Gavin swallows. “Involuntary, or whatever?”

Noah’s eyes flick between Gavin and his hands, his fingers spreading out along Gavin’s belly.

“I… It’s not wholly involuntary, but it is a response to a stimulus,” Noah replies. His voice is low and almost timid, as if revealing the nature of his glowing body is some dark secret.

Noah grasps one of Gavin’s hands tentatively, brings it up to his chest and presses the man’s palm against the place below which his thirium pump lies. Like every other time, the skin fades away to plastic and Gavin can feel the dull thrum of the pump beneath. Noah’s eyes flutter shut, his own marble white hand flat atop Gavin’s.

Gavin furrows his brow, unsure of what’s happening. In time with the _thump thump_ under his palm, he sees the beginnings of that blue glow again, radiating out and down along Noah’s torso and limbs. It’s rhythm is slower than before, the light not quite fading entirely before it pulsates out again and again. It’s almost… mesmerizing.

The why of it crashes against Gavin like a tidal wave, even before Noah’s gaze pins him with a look so human it hurts. Gavin isn’t sure what he expected, isn’t sure why he thought it was just from really good sex and not… this. That fight or flight kicks in again but Gavin quashes it before it coils too tight in his chest.

_Not this time you dipshit_ , he tells himself. _You better stay right fucking here, Reed_.

And he does. He stays put and doesn’t leave. He doesn’t think about it when Noah curls his fingers between Gavin’s, nor when Noah slides his tongue in to his mouth and tastes every inch. He melts into the mattress, remembers where he is and who he’s with, feels the tightness in his chest at how much he wants it.

He gives in to the temptation of crawling over that precipice, lets himself fall into the abyss that’s terrified him for years, all with a smile on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> @pseudoanalytics wanted Gav900 fluff. I happily obliged because why the hell not? This ship has gripped me too hard and won't let go.
> 
> I get that the fandom has a special attachment to certain names for RK900 but I... went a different route. I hope it doesn't fuck people up too much. I'm not too fond of the fandom names and went searching for my own. Regardless, this took a little while to write and boy did it just... grow and grow. Hope y'all enjoyed it!


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